Sunday, April 26, 2015

Greys Anatomy (If you haven't watched the last episode and do not know yet-how do you not know?)Spoiler ALERT!

Ok, this is not a normal post on my blog.  Then again, this blog has been going through quite a transformation, or has it always been a transformer?  Particularly because I write about what is hitting  me right in the face and how can that be anything but sporadic when that is exactly what life, or at least my life is, sporadic.  But that is not what I am writing about today.  I am writing about Greys Anatomy.  Yup, the TV show.  I do not often watch "TV" instead I subscribe to Netflix.  In fact, we have not had any TV channels for a little over 7 years!  Actually, I don't know if that deserves an exclamation point or not, because it seems that there are many people who do not spend $100 or more per month to sit in front of a TV every day at a certain time to watch specific shows.  Or maybe we are still a rare family?  I don't know how to do that...be that precise with a schedule surrounding a form of entertainment.  Seizures sort of set my schedule.  Kids definitely set my schedule.  I don't want to be stressed out and angry if my kids aren't in bed on time which causes me to miss an episode.  Or stressed out and angry because I got distracted and therefore missed an episode.  Not that everyone who watches TV gets so in to it like I might.  But alas, I am off topic again, in the first paragraph!!!

Ok, so we do have cable right now.  After the fire, the deaths, the surgeries, the accident, the everything we decided to get cable so that the kids could watch some of their favorite shows and movies.  We had not replaced many DVD's when we moved from the hotel to here.  The kids have extremely tiny bedrooms we literally cannot fit more than one bed table, two twin beds and squeeze one upright dresser in each room.  And toys are also something that was not a priority immediately following the fire, nor are they now, but birthdays and Christmas have happened, so they have toys that don't fit in their teeny tiny microscopic rooms.  On Sunday nights Avagrace (if she is up and able), Aidan, and I love to watch Once Upon A Time.  It is something I started watching on my kindle a few years ago and then was thrilled when it hit Netflix because I could share it with my two oldest who love fairy tales, especially when they are different viewpoints or an atypical re-telling.  Then a few weeks ago we happily started watching Dancing with the Stars, with me happily critiquing for all to hear how immodest the outfits were.  (What?  You don't do that too?  Weird!-jk)  I like to teach my children about what they will see in the world, when it is appropriate for each child, while also explaining why I feel the way that I do.  That way, they will have an adequate understanding for them to make their own decisions when they are at that point in their life.  Anyway, back to Dancing with the Stars....we do love to Dance, and the show is very entertaining, and it is a lot of fun voting together.  Not to mention Rumer and Willow are the two youngest and they are killing it!   

So that brings me to Greys.  The past week, or maybe it has been two weeks, we have seen the commercials (well to be honest I watch the commercials and the kids go out of the room during them) building up to a "shocker," a "you won't believe what happens," a "nothing will ever be the same again."  And I folded.  I have watched Greys Anatomy up until season 8 on Netflix.  I couldn't remember why I stopped watching it and figured it was likely due to being busy and having other shows that I enjoyed more, or that Brendan and I both enjoyed, or that were not so demanding of my time.  So I put "THE SHOW THAT WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING" (aka the last and latest episode of Greys Anatomy) into my icalendar on my iphone, that way I would get a text reminder because lets face it, when the day is done i.e. dinner is served, I do not look at said calendar anymore.  

So this week Brendan left for a short-term deployment (I have a whole post dedicated to my love of hate for well, our current deployment).  So he is gone and I am home and my calendar reminds me to watch Greys.  Everyone was in bed and so I started watching.  I thought, what a great show.  Hmmm, some of the characters aren't in the show tonight.  To be fair I had not realized that I stopped watching it 3.5 seasons ago, I thought I was maybe 1.5 seasons behind, not 3.5!  I am watching as the scene unfolds and Derrick saves all of those lives.  And then it happens.  His car pulls out and I am thinking "Where did he pull out from, he had parked it in the middle of the road!"  and then his phone rings, "NO YOU IDIOT!!"  "You just saved lives you know cell phones are the last thing you hear before crunching of metal and breaking of glass."  And then it happens, and he is walking us through it all, unable to talk but able to think-so we hear his thoughts.  "Oh God I hope that Gracie isn't ever awake during anything that she goes through.  I hope she is blissfully unaware."  But I know that is not true. She is able to remember and explain what certain seizures are like after the fact.  She knows she can do nothing but wait it out and it terrifies her.  She is locked inside the seizure watching me tell her it is ok and to just breathe or me singing her song that I "wrote" for her.  And then, a major topic that should be covered more but is so sad to watch because it is reality.  Dr. Derrick Shepherd dies because he was sent to the wrong hospital that accepted him anyway.  And by wrong I mean, the hospital that was not up to the task.  The hospital that was filled with doctors that do not know their stuff.  And he died because of their lack of knowledge and inability to treat him properly!!!  

As a parent of a child with a rare disorder I find this too often.  I had a doctor watch as my daughters heart stopped because he did not recognize her status seizure was a seizure at all, even though I tried to get him to read a pamphlet that her doctor told me to take to the ER every time.  He didn't accept that it was a seizure until his nurse had to punch her in the chest to get her heart beating again.  Only then would he read the information that I had tried to get him to read when we had arrived SEVERAL HOURS prior.  It was information from the National Institute of Health describing her seizure type and why you should not hesitate to stop said seizure.  The irony is that the medics on the ambulance who took us to the ER had known about the seizure because they had witnessed our daughter have it before when her previous doctor still worked at the hospital that they took us too.  That hospital is supposed to be the best hospital in our state and it was not good enough.  Thank GOD that I still have my daughter.  

So Grey's Anatomy was definitely a heart breaker.  I cried.  I watched as a man who just saved lives (YES I KNOW THIS IS FICTION HANG ON I AM GETTING TO THAT :-) ) died at the hands of uneducated medical "professionals."  I decided that I would get back on Netflix and figure out where I left off and see if I wanted to get "caught up" with this series.  So I watched a few episodes.  And during every single episode I would cry.  I don't remember doing this before.  And then it hit me.  "You idiot,"  This is too real now.  This fiction is too close to your reality.  You daughter has had over 12 surgeries in her 10 years, and that is just one of your children's "surgery lists".  That doesn't even count all of the other procedures that she alone has had.  Let alone the surgeries and procedures that your other kids have had (be them typical or not).  Or the many other times she has been sedated for one reason or another.  That is just surgeries.  The emotions on this show are so close to real that it feels real, it doesn't feel like fiction and it certainly doesn't look like fiction.  That is one of the reasons that this show is so long lasting, and has such a following.  The actors both on-going and the many filtered in and out "patients " that may only get one episode or maybe one every so many seasons, they are really good at what they do.  The irony is that those actors portray the drama that parents like me keep held in and bottled up during our times in the hospital.  You do not see that much drama in the hospital- even though the drama in the real hospital is so much worse than that, because it is real.  Everyone is expected to remember their "P's and Q's" so that we do not impose emotions on others, or cause mass hysteria.  In fact, an emotional parent is the first parent that doctors will ignore.  They will therefore determined a child's case with absolutely no background or understanding of what is really happening with the child.   They will pass it off as if the parent is "over reacting" or "emotional" or a "helicopter parent."  Unless they are a good doctor but those are so hard to come by, especially when you are talking rare disorders.  You see, it is very rare to find a doctor who wants a parent to know more about a medical condition than they do...unless they are a good doctor and want to learn or a good doctor that wants his patients primary care giver to know, to really KNOW what is going on and how the parent can help!

I am sure that I will watch more "Grey's" episodes, but not in continuum.  It is too depressing.  I would like to get caught up and see why all of the men and apparently Christina too, have been killed off the show???  I mean seriously, is this just the Meredith Grey show?  (JOKE, of course it is, it is called Grey's Anatomy), but why?  Why do they all have to die?  It was bead enough when George died!  I also read that Christina didn't die but chose to leave?  But right now, I don't know if that is better.  All I know is that I am proud of the writer/creator, Shonda Rhimes, for calling to light a dark truth that many will never learn from that last episode with Derrick Shepherd, that medical facilities are not all created equal and that your life can be in the hands of untrained, uncaring, uneducated "professionals," so be sure that you trust your doctors and have done your research!  

One thing is right, the show will never be the same, and not because I am fan-girling Patrick Dempsey, but because you can only take away so many core actors and replace them before the show just fizzles out.  But that is all dependent upon the writers and creator, and the creator of this show has never ceased to be intelligent, in your face, or fearful of what this shows future will be.  She has taken it on a road that twists and turns and consequently ties your stomach in knots.  But how much drama can one person take?  I know for me and my own reality, I apparently tapped out at season 8, but I don't know that I have quite thrown in the towel.  Thank you Shonda, I hope that you tell the world why you chose to let him die at the hands of unprofessional professionals and truly shine a light on the truth about our countries "medical care."  If not, you have at least opened the door for people like me to write a real truth, in a wordy post, on an emotional parents blog.  


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