Thursday, September 17, 2009

A tradition that just popped up on us!

Today was Brendan's first day off in a very long time. I rarely request that he take leave for anything. In fact, when Violet was born he went to work later that day, when Breya was born he had 10 days as a gift from his commander and then he went back to work. It has always worked well that way. However, with the impending move and the state of our home I was in need of his assistance and presence.

The past few days have been an emotional roller coaster as we lost a friend to suicide last Thursday night. It has been very hard because this friend was one of my son's biggest role models. For me, he reminded me of my brother. He was a very young airman, from a very difficult background, who was very lonely and trying hard to make a better life for himself. Unfortunately, he seemed to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He also desperately wanted to be valued. Sometimes that would fog his judgement because he was very trusting, sometimes of the wrong individuals. I struggle the most with all of this because working with him could be a challenge. There were times when he did not like me at all and this was hard for me because I really did care about him. However, it was too little too late because I would always tell myself that he was fine with the choices he made and I could do nothing for him....he probably wouldn't have wanted to hear from me anyway I thought. Now I live in regret. If there is anyone out there for you that is like this...don't wait. You never know what tomorrow will bring. As for Aidan, I cannot bring myself to tell him of his passing. I was going to but Bren brought up a good point. Aidan is a huge worrier already. He thinks about stuff obsessively and this is not something that he can handle at this time. So per Bren's request I will simply say to Aidan that so-and-so has received a different assignment at this time.

But back to Bren's day off. My mom and sister are flying in tomorrow and I am overjoyed. I have had a very difficult week and have cried for the first time since my pregnancy and I haven't really been able to stop...but Bren was able to get off today and tomorrow so that we can work on the move and he can be here to pick me up when I crumble...and oh he and his strong arms are so perfect for that!

Today after a lot of running errands he took us out to IHop and it was awesome! We had three adult meals, one for me, one for Bren, and one for Grace and Aido to share AND they came with a free kids meal each for each little one! We all ate at a restaurant for 32.00! Unbelievable. The coolest thing was that we suddenly realized that IHop has become our tradition place. Anytime we move, have a deployment, or need that 'comfort-stabilizing' meal (you know the one that makes you all happy in the midst of total chaos!) Yeah this is where we find ourselves. Bren and I thought of this, remembered times before, and smiled at the serenity that we could grasp in the midst of such chaos! Do you have a place or activity that brings this out for you? Do share I would love to hear!

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