Monday, July 20, 2009

Who are you?

" "

"Why, I hardly know sir, I have changed so much since this morning you see. "

From one of my most favoritest (this is indeed a word in Ginnish) novels, out pours some of my most favoritest quotes. So extremely fitting is it. When you realize that all these things that made you so incredibly distinct across the span of your years are in fact the cause of great unrest at the time, however, are what makes you so incredibly alive today.

God doesn't give you more than you can handle right? WRONG! He gives you way more than you can handle so that you may rely on HIM. At every moment that you have ever felt down, alone, afraid, or overwhelmed, you can count on a bit of change. It isn't a pleasant life without change.

Wait???!!!??? Hold the phone, did I just say that? THAT horrible word is what makes life pleasant??!!?? Apparently I did not miss the memo because I just spat it back at you but man I guess I never really let it sink in. Until now. Now, I get it, do you? How the thinker rambles.....

Change of time, change of season, change of ways, change of life, change of the guard, change of the tides, change of matter how you look at it change is at the center, it is the crux of our being. Embracing it empowers you. It teaches you, it allows Him to mold you. You can resist the water washing over you as clay. You can stiffen and crumble under it. Or you can open yourself up, soak it all in, and be formed new each day, each moment, and in each and every way.

Today I am reminded of why I love Alice in Wonderland. It is the story of a little girl who is not quite content (can be a good thing, an be a bad thing). She is a creative sort and wants to seek out her own way. She wants to learn but she enjoys life as it gets "curiouser and curiouser" Meanwhile her sister sits idly by reading page after page of a story without picture or conversation. And that is where the adventure begins. While Disney does an interesting young-child adaptation you cannot begin to get the full affect of Lewis Carrol's work until you have truly read both Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.

"I wonder if I have been changed in the night? Was I the same when I woke up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I am not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that is the great puzzle!"

As I look back over my life I remember so many times that I was "quirky" or the "outsider" and then minutes later the star of the show. It is about situations, circumstances, and ultimately answering the question "who are you" I always swore that when I was a mom I would parent by my heart. I would understand my kids and appreciate all of their imperfections. While I definitely understand my kids I do not always appreciate their oddities. It is easier said than done when you see your weaknesses in your children, or when you see your children doing something that you just know will annoy others to know end. When your heart is involved everything changes. But the goal is to not forget that you are not your children. Back to the clay on the potters wheel illustration: You are definitely part of their shaping, but you are the water that God pours over them, not the hands that mold them.

What characteristics do you have that you have always had? What oddities did you possess as a child and still do today? What is it that sucks you in and takes you away to Wonderland? What can you get lost in?

I have a love of words, of creation and creating, I have a love for teaching children, I love to imagine, dream, and plan, I love to play house, I love to dance, stretch, and exercise, I love to journal and pray, I love certain stores and shopping, I want to be a store owner, I can get lost in my mind :) I can get lost in creating, in writing, in cleaning, I WISH I could get lost in play like I did when i was a child. I can get lost in a book and a book store for that matter, a home store, or a family owned store or unique accord. I definitely can get lost in teaching my kids, I do so love to home school.....and I can definitely get lost in a good conversation.

Now back to Alice in Wonderland. Here are some of my favorite Alice pics and I absolutely cannot wait to see the Alice in Wonderland by Tim Burton staring Johnny Depp this coming year....this will be one of the most fabulous movies and I will definitely be having a premiere party! The first one is of the sculpture in central park that I really want to go to see. I will admit I have never been in NYC and it makes me sad to admit that! The second is Johnny Depp, and seriously, who could do a better job than he in this movie? NONE for sure! The last is just really cool! Have you ever felt like this? I know I have especially during deployments!

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